37 Life Lessons for my 37th Year

For my 37th birthday, I started writing down some things I’ve learned, observed, or aspire to and the list kept getting longer. I ended up with a list of 37 life lessons. While many things are seemingly contradictory or paradoxical, there is an underlying current of truth that I take comfort in trying to find the balance.

1. Dwell often on things that are beautiful, things that are lovely, and things that cause you to wonder.
   
   
2. People go to great lengths to guard their things, their property, their loved ones. How much more should we guard what enters our hearts and minds through the things we look at, the things we listen to, the things we think about?
   
   
3. When you react, you give away your power. The rest of the world is trying to get you to react. The media is full of reactions. (Since when is a reaction news? Why does it matter? Who are you to tell me how I should feel?) Marketers want to get you to react emotionally to make you feel like you need what they’re selling. Social media is flooded with people getting riled up by their reactions and trying to get others to get worked up along with them. The end goal of all these different mediums is: to go viral... and it has the same symptoms; it saps your energy to do anything productive, lowers your defenses and ability to think clearly, and is contagious.
   
   
4. Don't be different for the sake of being different. It takes a lot of energy to be different. Most people try to be different in the way they look or to stand out from the crowd. If you’re going to be different, stand for your principles. Spend your energy on things that matter.
   
   
5. Stop trying to be like everyone else. Everyone else is too busy trying to figure it all out, too.
   
   
6. Define success in your own terms.
   
   
7. Sarcasm causes more hurt and more confusion than it serves to bring humor or insight. Being sarcastic doesn't make you smart or clever. More likely than not, you're just too chicken-hearted to speak plainly.
   
   
8. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
   
   
9. You could do with less. You will survive. I promise.
   
   
10. Having less things or doing less makes space for doing more of the things you actually enjoy, or to have nicer things that you'll appreciate more.
    
    
11. Ask yourself, "If I do/have less ___, will I be able to live with myself?" If I check social media less, will I be able to live with myself? Yes? Then do it less. If I spend less time with my loved ones? No? Then do it more.
    
    
12. Many diseases (like diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and some cancers) are preventable and are caused more by our own decisions and indulgence (aka lifestyle and diet), rather than genetics. By believing you don't have any power over these things, you've already lost the battle.
    
    
13. Tastes (and taste buds) can change. You are not the same person you were before.
    
    
14. Out of all the fruits of the Spirit, the hardest one for me is self-control.
    
    
15. There are many things you can’t change, but you have more control over your life than you think. Read the Serenity Prayer.
    
    
16. Hardship is a part of life. But don't make it harder than it needs to be. Figure out how to use life’s hardships to make yourself stronger. Without resistance, muscles will not grow. When you have more strength, other things become easier… so that you can handle harder things.
    
    
17. With great freedom comes great responsibility. Use your freedom responsibly. Show yourself worthy of being entrusted with it.
    
    
18. Whatever decisions you make, own up to it. While you can't control the outcome, you most definitely can't blame your decision on someone else's advice, opinions, or even their threats. They won't live with the consequences of your decisions. You will. So own up to your decisions.
    
    
19. Seek wise counsel. Getting other perspectives can help you make better decisions.
    
    
20. You might not change the world. But to those around you, you just might change theirs... for better or worse. Try to make it better.
    
    
21. Watch the documentary, "Won't You Be My Neighbor?"
    
    
22. Good looks, influence, confidence, money, intelligence. Rarely do these things accurately measure a person's worth, or more importantly, their character.
    
    
23. What does it matter what kind of personality you have if you have no character?
    
    
24. The only way to know someone's character is observation over time. Beware the dazzle and awe. Just because someone says they’re something, doesn’t make it true. Words cost nothing. You will know what someone truly believes when it costs them something.
    
    
25. Goodness is attractive.
    
    
26. Seek to understand. Be slow to make a judgement. If there is anything you should procrastinate in life, it should be to hold off forming an opinion for as long as possible.
    
    
27. Everyone has a bias. Be aware of your own biases and assumptions and learn about others' biases. This will bring much understanding.
    
    
28. Exercise and sleep. These two things require no skill, are simple, and yet we do less of both. Getting more exercise and sleep will have profound effects on your health and well-being. If you must, commit to doing less so that you can get more sleep. You won’t miss out as much as you think you might.
    
    
29. Be present. No time exists except now. The past has already happened; learn from it. The future has not happened; what you do now will help determine it. When a loved one is talking to you, put whatever you’re working on down and give them your full attention. If not now, then when? There is no other time than now.
    
    
30. Make the best plans you can. The better you plan, the better you will be able to handle when things don’t go according to them. Winging it only turns out well in the movies... where a lot of planning, directing, and coordinating went into it.
    
    
31. Some of the best conversations and deepest thoughts I've had have occurred... in my mind. Try spending more time reading, meditating, or in prayer. Bonus: go out for a walk or jog and you can get some exercise in at the same time ;)
    
    
32. If you work from home or sit at a desk for most of the day, get a standing desk. But don't just stand in the same position. Move around more. It's not about standing vs sitting. It's about making adjustments and staying mobile vs being sedentary and getting comfortable in one position. Life is kind of the same way.
    
    
33. Life is more than the physical. Not everything makes sense. Not everything is logical. Not everything is understandable. Take love, for example. The more you give it away, the more you feel it and the more you have of it. Try to grab it and keep it for yourself and it will be ever-elusive.
    
    
34. Never be afraid of making mistakes or looking the fool. How can you ever expect to learn anything if you don’t ever make a mistake?
    
    
35. Don’t think of it as making a mistake. Think of it as practice.
    
    
36. Balance isn't about doing all of the things. It's about doing the right things.
    
    
37. With yourself, be tough. Hold yourself to the highest standards and aim to be your best self. With others, be gracious.